Submission

Today's blog is about submission. It's also about jobs.
Niether are "fun" topics. But there is much to be said.

My last post had quite a hook to it and I'm happy to say that you shant be disappointed with your wait.
Our patience produced a lot of fruit these past few weeks... Aaron likes to pray that God would give us fruit from the Tree of Wonderful Jobs. Well, God definitely came through.

Earlier this month, I was nearing the end of my sanity rope. I finally broke down and applied for a sort of 'sure thing' job [though nothing in life truly is...] Within 24 hours they had given me an offer. As politically correct as I can be while saying this... I did NOT want this job. It would have likely been a fairly well-paying opportunity, however my creative soul just couldn't bear the thought of making 100-plus calls from a cubicle farm during a 50-plus hour workweek.

But I need a job because we need money.. and now. So my sweet husband, in his ever-faithful efforts to provide for us, asked his teary-eyed wife to take it anyway. And I did, though not quietly.

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I think it's important to distinguish the differences between Godly submission and being a doormat. Godly submission does not mean that you are voiceless. It does not mean that you cannot make your case, state your opinion or pour out your heart. It also does not mean that he chooses everything we do, his decision could be to let me decide.  It just means that ultimately, with loving consideration of me, my husband makes the decision, be it in my favor or not. It does not mean I have to be happy with his choice. But it does mean that I have to respect it.

Submission does not make you feel like a doormat. I have never felt taken advantage of. I have never felt that he did not consider my feelings and opinions. Before he makes a decision, we talk about it... A LOT [much to his exhaustion, I'm sure.] I make sure that he is fully aware of where I stand and why I believe the things that I do. I make sure he understands how a decision will affect me. He seeks to know me as a Godly husband should (Phil 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:7). In love, he chooses what he believes will be the best thing for our family and indeed, it makes me feel very loved.

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Though I had accepted that job, the next day I recieved a call with a second job offer. My dream job! I'd have an office with a fancy desk and I'd get to manage people. I'd get to work at a fantastic institution in the beautiful wooded parts of Texas and I'd be living my little marketing, creativity dream. Though my heart was leaping for joy, Aaron's was very concerned.

The area that this job was in would significantly limit his career opportunity, among other, smaller things. But, we talked about it a lot. He faithfully prayed and God revealed to him scripture that convicted him of his role as a self-sacrificing husband (Ephesians 5:22-33 our wedding verse!). Through this, he felt that God was telling him to let me take this job, which I did.

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Though this would be my dream job [my 99% fantastic and wonderful dream job], I was still super nervous about Aaron. I knew that this would mean we were going to struggle financially, live in a town we weren't yet comfortable with and he would have to wrestle with not being a typical "provider" for me. Still we moved foward with plans to take this great, great, great job.

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But wait! There's more! [Gosh I should do commercials]

Yesterday, I was offered a third job. This job would keep us here near the city, allow us to be more financially conservative and would retain greater career opportunity for Aaron. But this was not going to be the job like #2 was. I'd work with a wonderful group of people and for a dynamic organization in a position that had lots of room for advancement. Still, it was not the job.

But once again, my sweet husband asked me to take this final opportunity. This time, with much, much discussion and with many, many tears I did. I'm trying really hard not to look at this as though Aaron made me turn down my dream job, though that's kind of what happened.

I dont want to confuse you. This job is going to be great! This company is going to be fantastic and I'm super excited!! I HAVE A JOB!!!

Being with Aaron and trying to attain a Godly marriage has not been easy-peasy. It's taught me a lot about compromise. My new job will give us the best of both worlds. I will have a good career, with a good company. We will save money. Aaron will have better opportunity here. It's a win-win, I guess. If I had made the decision, we would probably be doing something different. But that's not my burden to bear, no matter how much I sometimes wish it were.

I'm still disappointed that I dont get the fancy office and the management role.. that things couldn't have worked out to be favorable for us both in that area. But if this is God showing us He can be faithful and giving Aaron opportunities to be a Christ-like leader and me chances to relenquish control. I'm going to submit to God and to Aaron and Jesus will give me the joy I need!

Even though I'm bummed, I feel very, VERY loved. I know that Aaron wouldn't ask me to do this if he didn't love me because I know how much he hates to see me upset. I know that he is lovingly providing for us in the best way he can. What wife wouldn't respect that?